Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You know what else can give you the cold shoulder? MICROWAVE DINNERS!

A little entry I wrote up on bebo a year or so ago.

"Well after skulling down my brown slop, which is supposedly called 'dinner', my throat is burning because of the excess pepper that graced it. Honestly who needs THAT much pepper, and I'm not talking about a few odd black specks here and there, I'm talking about a BLACK TYPHOON OF PEPPER. The thing was covered in an avalanche practically. So the name of the 'slop' was 'Peppered Steak', What is the steak made out of compressed pepper? Because I didn't taste any meat in that.

It is now 8:30, and I didn't finish the dinner/crap, until about 20 minutes ago, and I started cooking it at about well let's say 7:30, when the Simpsons Started, So the slop took about an hour to make, mind you my microwave isn't the top of the range -coughwehardlyuseitsoit'seightyearsoldco ugh- But honestly, AN HOUR? I could have waddled down to Maccas at Central in the time it took to make that, but I hate McDonalds so I wouldn't have done so anyway.

But after you chuck this slop in the microwave for 6 mintues, you are forced to take it out again as if some GOD OF MICROWAVE DINNERS WILL HAIL THUNDERBOLTS DOWN UNTO YOU, and shake it, then the dinner must be placed back into the microwave for another six minutes. Yeah, well I followed those instructions, so what am I left with? A frozen block.I chucked it back in the cooking box for another 5 minutes, yet when I take it out, it's still cold, I shove it back in hoping another 2 minutes will do it, no, another 1, no, put it back for another 2, eventually I gave up on this whole process, so I decided to, in Dale's words, "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN" so I took it like a man, AND I ATE IT HALF FROZEN.

So now, I'm clutching my throat in acute pain, while my stomach nauseates over the fact I gave it something that looked similar to something I saw a cow do at the Ekka once. O_O

Moral of this story?
Microwave Meals look like shit, taste like shit, and take a century to cook."

No comments: